You might find some things helpful in this post of my life as a single dad. Are you stuck in a hole, wondering if you will ever get out?
Do you feel like you are on a roller coaster going up and down or just spiraling down into darkness? Maybe, you feel like your being jerked around like you are the passenger in an old truck with someone learning how to drive a stick?
I felt all of that and more when my life as a single dad was born. Let’s figure out where to go, to get what we need, to get where we want to go together.
Feelings you think will never go away.
The first feeling that came for me was guilt. The guilt of being a failure. The guilt of failing my son
now that he has to grow up in a broken home. Then follows sadness, loneliness, self-pitty, loss and a whole host of other negative emotions.
Eventually, you will be crippled with depression so much so you don’t want anything to do with anyone. Well, anyone but your kids. This was my life as a single dad.
These negative emotions can cause real pain! They will affect every area of your life. If, you are in this state you probably don’t really care about the other areas as this area is the center of your universe.
If these emotions are tearing your guts out, you may not be fairing so well financially. If, you don’t take care of your finances things will really start to spiral into the abyss.
Money won’t buy back your happiness or get you out of that deep depression but, money can do a lot of things to help you. Starting with keeping your place to live and preferable somewhere your kids can stay with you.
The Children’s best interest
This is the most important thing in my life as a single dad. Hopefully you are able to still spend time with your kids. If not, I suggest you do whatever is necessary to have some time with them. I believe that children need their dad just as they need their mother.
After all, if you are anything like me, you want to be the very best dad in the world. Otherwise, you won’t feel right about wearing that T-shirt or drinking coffee out of that mug.
It will serve you well to have your children’s best interest in mind in everything you do from here on out.
Fake it til you make it!
You have heard that before haven’t you? Fake it til you make it. This may have been my first step to getting out of the dreadful dungeon of depression.
First I knew my son wouldn’t want to be around a guy with a broken spirit. You know who those guys are. The ones that can’t even stand up straight when they walk.
You can see when a guy has a broken spirit. You probably know one. Hopefully you’re not thinking about yourself right now. If, you are it’s okay! let me help you fix it. You can indeed get your spirit back.
Anyway, I decided that I would not act sad or anything less than the happiest man on Earth around my son. I made a conscious effort to decide to be happy around him. This worked really well until, he went to bed or school or to his mothers.
Over time, it started to get a little easier. Soon after that, I was a little happier when he was not around some of the time.
I decided to take it one step further. I realized the best way to get back at his mom was to act like I never had been happier in front of her. I may have been doing it out of spite however, it quickly became a great tool to make me a little happier.
What happened? My “Fake it” turned into a “Make it”.
Everything is Temporary.
I would like to help anyone out there that could use a little help. As men, we inherently want to do everything on our own. I would like to say I got out of the depression on my own but, I would be lying. The truth is, I had an enormous amount of help along the way. Not from friends, not from a coach or a therapist.
Everything came from my own will to change. Everything can and will get better, if you want it to. It doesn’t happen overnight and if I’m not on constant guard of what I let into my mind then, those little gremlins will try to move in. The key is to not let them stay long or they become squatters that you can’t easily evict.
Thanks for reading and get in touch with me. I want to know how you are dealing with or dealt with single dad problems. I want to know if I can give you any in-site or value. I want to gain in-site and value from you!
Please leave me a comment or ask a question.