Hi everyone. I would like to share some facts about single parenting. Single parenting for some, can be the hardest thing they have ever done. After all, it’s not something you do just every once in a while.
In the end, parenting in general can be the most rewarding thing in the world. It’s important not to take what you have for granted. Kids grow up so fast!
Please keep reading while I share some simple facts about single parenting.
Sometimes single parents become better parents.
My point here is in some situations a parent, while not being single, didn’t spend as much time with their kids as they do now. There can be many reasons for this. Possibly they were working too much. Maybe they weren’t very interested in their kids at the time or the kids just latched on to the other parent more.
When a parent becomes a single parent, and gets to spend a fair amount of time with their kids then they focus most of their attention towards their kids.
Sometimes the kids weren’t at the very top of their priority list until they became single. Then all of a sudden the kids are at the very top of the priority list.
If this is the case then, the kids have the full undivided attention of the parent a lot of the time.
The other parent has a different set of rules.
If the other parent has a different set of rule is can be very difficult and frustration. By these rules I mean normal day to day stuff.
Rules like having the same bedtime and how long the kids can watch TV. Kids will learn quickly how to manipulate your rules. You will hear things like “I don’t have to do that at mom’s house”.
This can get very frustrating. If you give in to the kids about what they do at the other parents house they learn quickly how to get what they want.
On the other hand, you don’t want to rule with an iron fist. If your rules are to harsh then your kids won’t want to be at your house.
My advice is to stick to your guns with the rules. If you can communicate with the other parent well then you both can probably come to a middle ground.
When your kids are away from you it can be lonely. Very lonely.
This is when you have to be on your guard. Don’t fall into traps of doing things you know you shouldn’t do and being a person you don’t want to be.
You have to learn how to guard your mind against anxiety and worry. Don’t let depression creep in. Keep in mind that you have to be the best parent you can be. That means being your best even if the kids aren’t around.
Figure out things to keep yourself busy. Maybe start that side gig you have been thinking about. If it’s a good one then you can pay your bills better.
Exercise! Get into better shape so you have more energy when the kids are around. My arm is completely ruined from all the countless hours of throwing a baseball! But, I love it.
Have some fun with friends. If they are true friends then you can express your loneliness to them. Real friends will be able to help you through it.
When you are at home by yourself don’t listen to Zak Brown Band “Highway 20 ride” over and over.
Other things suffer when the kids are with you.
When your kids are with you they require a lot of attention. I met an old man once that raised 3 boys. He asked me if I spend a lot of time with my son. I said “Yes, of course”. He said “Good, one thing I learned raising all those boys if, if you spend a lot of time with them, they will grow up to be just fine”.
For some reason that stuck with me and as more and more time goes by, I see how it is true.
Things that are tough to deal with when the kids are things that lack of your attention.
Your work can suffer. The boss might be psycho dialing you while you are at the dentist with your kids. Your house can look like a tornado went through it and turned t upside down.
You can forget important things like paying bills or taking a shower.
It’s tough to keep up when the kids are with you. It all can add up to a mountain of frustration. This can open the door again to you being someone you don’t want to be.
Recognize when that door is open. Don’t walk trough it and be a parent you don’t intend to be. You ave to be careful that those frustrations don’t transfer to how you parent your kids.
Remember that your kids will learn behaviors that they see you do. Think about how you want them to act and how you want them to treat others.
Try not to be a person you wouldn’t want your kids to become and you will all live a little happier.